Samuel Taylor Sully on the moon bombing, now in off-the-wall format:
At Cabeus did NASA geeks,
A swifty Centaur rocket hurl,
Where dust, and mayhap water reeks,
‘Pon craters numberless, and peaks,
Under the cosmic whirl.
So twice two tons of massy metal,
To test the lunar soil’s mettle.
And also careful cameras set,
To record impact on lunar rill,
Ensure the wants of public met,
Make time long record of the thrill,
Assure sunny days of budget swill.But, oh! When stopwatch ended countdown,
To indicate the mighty crashdown,
Appeared no hint of fiery flash down,
There on Selene’s apparition.
Were the cameras to be faulted,
For missing flash on Moon assaulted?
Or had some Lunar Politician,
Told a crafty top technician,
Set a force field strong and watchful,
Stop that arrogant Earthly mission,
Enough of supine swallowing guff,
Set a force field strong enough,
Halt this impudent Terrine bull,
Teach those Earthlings lasting lesson!
Comments 11
Thanks Peter. Colin has been trying to guide me to where I can post myself. My own avoidance and putting off of techy stuff stopped me from doing it before; and now some manner of computer revenge is preventing me from signing in.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Genius… though I hear echoes of the Song of Hiawatha…
October 10th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
@CK MacLeod –
Can’t be helped. I always start out honestly enough, intending to faithfully plagiarize one guy, and then I wander off into the easiest meter to write which is usually Macaulay singsong.
Then out spake brave Horatius,
The Captain of the gate:
‘To every man upon this earth
Death cometh soon or late.
And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds,
For the ashes of his fathers,
And the temples of his Gods,
October 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
@Sully – mighty impressive, Sully.
Do you take requests?
October 10th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I googled a phrase from the Mad magazine parody of “Kublai Khan” to try to quote it here, and guess what the first match was!
October 10th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Does that mean the joke’s on you?
October 10th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
@fuster –
Back in ancient days when I was perhaps less mature and more playful I occasionally responded to really insistent requests. Once, for instance, a school board president wrote my small town paper editor a complaining letter which he duly printed about a fairly mild assertion I made in a column concerning the independence of two of his fellow board members. He alleged purposeful double meanings in the column, wrongly of course. Anyway, his tone was a clear request for a special effort, so I wrote “Ode to Sir (his last name), John” especially for him. Ungrateful fellow, he didn’t seem to like it despite the fact that there were few indeed even in those days who were honored with poetry. I still remember one of the best parts:
The gentle ladies at issue, are not wove of tissue,
If I did them offend, they can sure self defend,
Unless they really are hoarse, from laughter, of course,
After one single glance, at Sir Johnny with lance,
And mounted on very high horse.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Quite good again. Dig out the entirety and we’ll put in your greatest hits package. It’ll be debuting in time for this All Hollow’s Eve.
Just sign here and here and here.
The Tsar’s accountants will be forwarding you your share of the proceeds. (certain deductions for the Tsar’s marketing expenses, hookers,etc.)
October 10th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Delightful, as always. I’m afraid
Dimensions, distance — both were faulted
For missing flash on Moon assaulted.
But I like the idea of Lunar Politician. Might be a good name for the Washington Politically-Correct NFL ball club.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:04 am
@J.E. Dyer – Why not just shorten it to “Aliens”? They could use a Lunar Politician as their symbol. The Washington Aliens – works for me. Though some might insist on the Washington Undocumenteds – or maybe in the style that was popular a few years ago, the Washington Amnesty.
October 11th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
CKM — I’m liking Amnesty, although to really hit off the style of a few years ago, the thing to do would be to coin an evocative nonsense name stringing a couple of superficially sensible-sounding syllables together.
So, perhaps, the Washington Amnestar. Eight drive-through locations, fully integrated in the Plus ATM system, a new oncology wing being added, and the world’s most fanatical (if often least-requited) football fans. Para espanol, oprime el numero dos.
October 11th, 2009 at 7:23 pm