Years ago, before he became the doyen of late-night TV comedy, Johnny Carson emceed a game show called “Who Do You Trust?” The show, which was similar in premise to The Newlywed Game, involved contestants having to decide whether to answer a question themselves or trust a companion to answer for them.
Now that it’s become clear even to sage political analysts like the Times’ Charles Blow that Barack Obama can’t be trusted to tie his own shoes, the question for Obama is who to trust. He’s getting opinions from every quarter imaginable — the extreme left (which Blow represents), the far left, the left, and the lunatic fringe.
Blow’s advice is simple and comes in two parts. The first is get America back to work. The second — and more interesting — part is shake up the staffing of the West Wing. Now this second part would be tantalizing to non-Obama supporters, who would enjoy seeing (for example) Robert Gibbs, a brutish lout, get booted out the door onto Pennsylvania Avenue with a chamois and a can of Kiwi Shoe Polish, so he can begin a career more in line with his skill set. Ditto David Axelrod, a a brutish lout, etc.
But how sound a piece of advice would it be for Obama to jettison the group that got him to 1600 Pennsylvania in the first place? He has made it clear from his appointments so far that he gravitates toward people from the above-mentioned lunatic fringe when selecting individuals to serve him in advisory roles. As his poll numbers inch ever closer to the terminal cut-off of 47 percent — a popularity rating at or below which no president was ever elected to a second term — how wise would it be to trust Obama to assemble a crew as good as the minimally acceptable staff he has now?
Okay, clearly, Obama should tell Blow to blow.
Who is else is the president getting advice from? Well, there’s Joe Klein. Klein used to be a member of the extreme left, but his own craziness has driven him over the edge of the lunatic fringe. Klein thinks Obama should give the country the middle finger — figuratively speaking. He echoes a view that Obama himself occasionally gives utterance to when he is musing aloud. That is to forge ahead with his original plans for health care reform, cap and trade, the whole enchilada, and worry later that he has flouted the wishes of the people who elected him. Once they understand it was all for their own good, all will be forgiven and Obama’s likeness will begin to be hewn from the granite face of Mt. Rushmore.
The main problem with this advice is that Obama no longer has the political capital to make any of these initiatives happen. The votes simply aren’t there any longer.
So who do I think Obama should trust? I think he should trust me. I have a piece of advice for him that I believe he will eventually be receiving from his party’s leadership when it is clear that he is dragging all of their careers and the party’s very foundations down with him. Better he should act now than wait until the damage is so far along that even the most politically correct histories of his administration will paint him as an abject failure.
I think he should announce his intention to resign from the Office of President effective immediately. He should tell the American people he has learned he is sick — I don’t know: let’s say it’s some rare blood disease — and that he has decided to tender his resignation for the good of the country. He’s not actually sick, not so far as I know, but he should say it anyway.
Following that advice won’t do a whole lot to alter his tarnished image; he has already done much to hurt the country, and there’s no walking that back. But at least it will prevent his name from becoming a verb meaning “to fail.” (Tom worked night and day to make the school baseball team but ultimately he obamaed.) His children won’t have to live a life of disgrace knowing that their last name has joined the dubious ranks of Lynch, Burke, and others that aren’t coming to mind right now.
Comments 19
See, Tsar, it’s this level of stuff that’ll go over big with the paste-eaters.
Howard, what’s the best hand gun currently only sold under the counter?
Do you favor modifying the Desert Eagle?
February 13th, 2010 at 11:44 am
@ fuster:
I don’t know what that comment means but considering the source I’m not terribly concerned either.
February 13th, 2010 at 11:45 am
@ Howard Portnoy:
i was talking to MacLeod about why he was getting beat on in the comments at Hot Air.
I thought it likely to be caused by his attempt at presenting balance.
A full-out attack post, (particularly from a less-than-familiar author) I say would be much more likely to be comfortably received.
(the stuff about the guns was a joke relating to the numerous comments concerning same and ignoring all else).
February 13th, 2010 at 11:56 am
@ Howard Portnoy:
an evil frogoid attempt to sew discord amidst our merry band – plus a slightly obscure reference to matters recently discussed up against the Wall.
I have to disagree with your taxonomy, however. When Charles Blow is “extreme left,” how are we supposed to characterize all of the unreconstructed revolutionaries and nutjobs – the kind of people, still more numerous in Europe but still easy to find here, who consider Van Jones a sellout, and who feel that their suspicions about Ø, that he’s an even worse sellout, a full-on corporate liberal, have been confirmed?
I’d put Blow on the right of the far left, or just to the right of the far left – in other words: mainstream progressive left. I’m not even sure that he qualifies as the furthest left NYT columnist – that’s probably Krugman, though I don’t consider myself an NYT expert.
February 13th, 2010 at 11:57 am
@ fuster:
It was the “paste-eaters” line that I have trouble with. You might be surprised to learn — especially apropos of the comment to CK that follows — that conservatives come in all shapes and sizes. I do not align myself with those who held up “Scott Brown for president” posters.
@ CK MacLeod:
No question there are people loonier than Blow, which is why I established “lunatic fringe” as one of my categories. Perhaps the difference between us is one of scope. I see the LF as being a really big tent these days. There’s plenty of room in there for Krugman, Code Pink — you name it. I was actually being somewhat charitable to Blow in seeing him as outside the tent.
February 13th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
Did you know that Blow changed his name which used to be Charles Blob, which was a dead giveaway as to his acuity. Also, blow is what he would like to do for Mister Peanut.
Back in my own astute Berkeley radical dayz of awe, I would have advised Bawwak to ditch the Jews and blacks and replace them all with women who kinda look like soccer moms, because the only part of his hard core constituents he’s loosing is the soccer moms. I think Michelle would understand when she’s replaced with Victoria Beckham who knows a lot about soccer and would help repair the breach with London by returning the bust of Sir Winston to the Oval Office. I think Axelrod would understand when he’s replaced by Gov. Granholm who could help 0slash run GM and who does not have a strange Jewish name. Clearly that mother rucking Rham would understand that Joan Welsh of Stalin.Com would be a natural replacement who would never say mother rucker in public and who is just as mean as Rham is. The grinning, pasty faced spokesman, Gibbs, even though he is not Jewish, should be replaced by Adrianna Huffelingpuffington, a real genius when it comes to brilliant feminine sound bites. Our Attorney General who is now such a liability must go back to Martha’s Vinyard where he can open an antique shop featuring African artifacts. Anybody who calls America a nation of cowards has to go, even though progressives naturally understand that all black males are filled with understandable rage, and must be allowed to vent a little from time to time. Harvard could give Mia Hamm an honorary law degree, and, as our most fit AG in history, she’d bring back those soccer Moms in droves.
February 13th, 2010 at 12:51 pm
@ Zoltan Newberry:
Genius. In short, he needs an all-girl guard, kind of like Qadaffy Duck has, but in a more American mode.
February 13th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
@ Howard Portnoy:
Howard, you’re kidding me, I hope, when you allege that I don’t find any intellectual heft in conservative thought.
step 1) where are we?
step 2) who’s our Tsar?
step 3) go read those comments and come back and tell me that paste-eaters is unfair.
February 13th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
@ fuster:
fuster, the comments are whimsical. The commenters in my view have heft also. I mean, how much heftier can a commenter be than Zolt, inventor of Mr. Peanut and Putin on a Ritz?
February 13th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
you do understand that I was talking about paste-eater comments at Hot Air ?
February 13th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
@ fuster:
No, but I have no problem with them either. Can you give me an instance of a comment that you find troublesome?
February 13th, 2010 at 2:08 pm
@ Howard Portnoy:Excuse me!
Putin on the Ritz!
February 13th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
@ Howard Portnoy:
maybe the nicest one was the one wishing CK success with his drug rehab.
half a dozen were comments about not understanding what the hell CK was talking about.
‘nother half-dozen discussed hand guns.
ask him about the comments and the acuity demonstrated therein.
February 13th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
@ Zoltan Newberry:
Zolt, my sincerest apologies.
@ fuster:
I guess I haven’t been doing my reading. I get fairly benign comments at HotAir, but I’ve long thought I was too restrained when it came to criticizing this administration.
February 13th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
@ Howard Portnoy:I thought that I espied some few days past a mention that the Tsar was somehow involved in getting you grafted into the Green Room.
He’s got a good ear despite the unfortunate urge to succumb to the temptation of a temperate tone.
February 13th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
@ fuster:
The Czar got me a press pass at the Greenroom some months ago.
February 14th, 2010 at 6:38 am
@ Howard Portnoy:
and I’m still waiting for my kickback. Check in the mail?
February 14th, 2010 at 8:13 am
@ CK MacLeod:
You haven’t gotten that yet? I don’t understand. My checking account was debited $1 million. I thought for sure you’d received payment.
February 14th, 2010 at 9:31 am
@ Howard Portnoy:
Let me look into that mix-up, buddy.
What’s the account number?
February 14th, 2010 at 10:34 am